“I’m a Cool Mom!” Interview
Last spring, Liana Satenstein began interviewing moms in fashion for a new column in Vogue called “I’m a Cool Mom!” The questions aren’t always the same, but here are my answers to some I’ve picked out. If any of these questions spark a story from you, I’d love to read it! Please share in the comments or, if you prefer more privacy, via email.
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How did you see yourself as a woman before and how do you see yourself now?
I almost don’t remember how I felt before. I’m not sure if I really saw myself as a woman, partially because my body never felt very womanly and I was also fairly young (24) when I got pregnant. I was still very much transitioning into my identity as an adult, a woman, when I became a mother.
Now that I’m in my 30s, I’ve come a long way with how I see myself. I love and accept my body more than I ever have, and I am much more certain in my identity as a woman.
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How has motherhood changed how you think about your personal style?
I consider practicality more than I ever have. Not that I plan for disaster all the time, but I do think, “Could I run after my son in these shoes? Could I carry him in this dress?” I like to feel prepared. However, my style was already transitioning away from high heels and mini-length hemlines before parenthood was on the table, so that’s not the only reason.
I’m more confident in that I don’t have to be doing something specific (like wearing very tight clothes all the time) to feel attractive. I dress to feel good for myself, not to impress other people.
I also take huge amounts of joy in coordinating with my kid!
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Have you taken any lessons from your own mom?
So many lessons about both parenting and personal style. I wrote this post about one, but I could really go on and on.
One of the most significant parenting lessons I learned from my mom was the importance of the baby learning to go to sleep on its own. We were very lucky, my baby needed little encouragement in that area, but still.
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What’s your diaper bag, and what’s in it?
Lo these many years ago, when I used a proper diaper bag, it was from Vera Bradley, and it was a black and neon green floral. I did not love it, haha! I’ve seen many diaper bags since then that looked like they’d be much more functional, attractive, and versatile.
Now, when I’m grabbing things to have on the go, it’s snacks, toys, and sometimes an extra set of clothes, and he can carry stuff in his own little backpack. Much lighter these days!
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How does your child dress? How do you shop for them? What have you learned from dressing your children?
He wears whatever he wants to wear, though I admit that I encourage him to wear colors that go together. He doesn’t always listen, and that’s fine.
I shop for him mostly online from Target, Old Navy, and Gap. I browse both kid departments looking for fun colors (he loves all brights, but prefers pink, orange, and blue these days), and cute prints or graphics that I think he’d like. Sometimes I’ll ask him if he likes something, or we’ll browse in-store together.
Wear fun things. Wear lots of color. Wear what you love. (Did he learn these things from me?)
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What’s your life-saving mom gadget? What did you invest in that was worth it?
For the first few years, it was the sound machine. I actually miss it. I credit that with helping him be such a deep sleeper. I loved this one. Now, I’d say a sleep mask. He sleeps with one every night and, again, I think it helps him sleep better.
We didn’t really invest in anything big during the baby stage. Now that he’s older, an iPad? Is that a cop-out answer because it’s obvious, or controversial because screens are bad? All I know is that we were in the car for 6 hours recently and he was fine the whole time with movies and games on his iPad, and I was grateful for it. Oh, and headphones.
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What would you recommend to a new mom, fashion-wise?
Find some easy staples for a uniform to get you through. Find pieces that bring you joy. Make a capsule wardrobe. Consider wardrobe therapy.
Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel good about how you’re dressed.
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What are some misconceptions about motherhood and style?
That mothers can’t be stylish. That mothers can’t wear certain things.
Anyone can wear anything that makes them feel good.
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What are some pieces you’ve let go of?
Anything that doesn’t fit right or bring me joy. I don’t have time for that anymore.
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What are you wearing these days?
Sweaters! Sweaters were a first love of mine from childhood, but I got out of the habit because they’re hard to wash. Undershirts have made them both more comfortable and require less washing, so now I wear sweaters almost every day from October to April.
Bright colors, light neutrals. They’re more of a challenge to mix around, and I like that. I still love an all black outfit, but I don’t do that as often now.
Floral prints. I also love polka dots, stripes, and abstract designs, but really florals forever.