Why I Don’t Tan
& other beauty ideals I don’t subscribe to
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Everyone gets comments about their appearance. People like to point out how you could look better… to them (because attractiveness is subjective). These comments aren’t always meant to be mean, but are more critical than constructive.
Here are some of the comments I get the most, and why I don’t listen to them.
Disclaimer: if you do these things, that’s great! They are good for you, but not for me.
tan
Every summer, it is strongly, repeatedly suggested that I get a tan. I am informed of my many options to do so: about going to the beach, getting a spray tan, or using a fake tanner.
What these people don’t know is that my skin doesn’t tan, ever. When exposed to the summer sun for more than a few minutes, my skin begins to fry like it’s coated in butter. The risk of burn and skin cancer (which runs in my family) is too high. And to answer the followup I often get to that, no, my burn doesn’t fade to tan. It just damages my skin.
Fake tan, whether in a spray booth or applied at home, requires a level of effort that I have zero interest in putting forth, as I have zero interest in achieving the result. Why spend money and time for a look I don’t want?
I am more than happy to be the pale one in the group and make everyone else look tan in comparison. Stand by me, and you will feel tan!
get my eyebrows done
I was once told that I would be really pretty if I got my eyebrows done. More often, people ask if that’s something I would do, or just suggest it as something to try. And I understand! Beautifully manicured eyebrows are striking.
Have I thought about it? Yes. But I worry about something going wrong and losing more brow than I intend. I would rather keep my brows natural imperfect than damage them. I love my eyebrows, because I think they suit my face and convey my emotions, and I feel really pretty with them!
paint my nails
I love a pampering mani-pedi session, I love a creative manicure, and I love color. So why are my nails almost never painted? One, I have a thing about color, and two, I am lazy!
If my painted nails don’t complement or delightfully contrast with my outfit, it usually annoys me. I don’t feel this way about other people because I fully understand that one cannot change one’s nails to match every outfit. But when it’s my nails, it can detract from my enjoyment. I prefer my nails to be naturally neutral.
Maintaining a manicure takes time and effort! And I am very honest with myself about the things I am too lazy to do. It’s easier for me to maintain them in their natural state than to paint them frequently. If I feel like it, I’ll do it, but if not, I don’t worry about it at all.
have long hair
It is a frequent refrain (from men and women) that women are more attractive with long hair. I have had long hair before, but for the majority of my adult life, my hair has been what most people consider short.
When it comes to styling my hair, my laziness cannot be underestimated. The idea of spending over ten minutes (and even that is pushing it) on my hair does not compute in my brain. I get bored! It is not for me. I will happily gush over another person’s beautiful hair and marvel at the time and effort they put into it. It is a skill I cannot hope to imitate, and I am okay with that.
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I realized a trend as I wrote this post. These ideals focus on changes that would require routine maintenance and general upkeep. Because I am lazy, so I don’t like anything that requires too much maintenance. But not only that, the desired effects of these processes are not desired by me. I can appreciate them in other people, but do not want them for myself. And that’s fine! We should follow beauty ideals that work for us and make us feel beautiful, not just the ones that we are told to do by others.
And remember: if you want to feel tan, stand next to me!